Loving You With My Whole Heart
by We Know What We Know
Summary: One shot: "it wasn't always bad." Kagome began, a small smile etched on her lips. "We had some good times, Inuyasha and I." Sesshomaru tilted his head back to stare at the ceiling. "What happened?" "I fell in love with someone else." Kagsess, non-canon, AU


_Disclaimer: I do not, will not, and any other negative contractions own Inuyasha. All credit goes to its wonderful creator Rumiko Takahashi. _

* * *

**Author's Note: Hello everyone! It's been along time since I've written something for anime and felt the need to just contribute a little short to one of my favorite anime Inuyasha. So technically this story came to me during one of my late night stare-offs with my ceiling. I wanted to write a little Kagsess one-shot, and well apparently here it is! Hopefully you like it, as much as I liked writing it. The format is written in a style of short pieces spaced out throughout a year of budding romance between our two protagonists. Alright, I've said enough. You know what to do...read, review, favorite, and follow! **

**Enjoy! SGGR! **

**Oh and a warning...it's not beta'd. Sorry for the mistakes in advance. Just had to get this story down before it disappeared.**

* * *

**Loving You with My Whole Heart**

**By: SGGR**

* * *

The door slammed behind her, rattling on its hinges. Kagome sighed.

If life was simple, maybe her heart wouldn't hurt. "It's for the best." She told herself, sweeping the shattered remains of her metaphoric heart. He broke her mother's vase. She'll replace it one day. For now she needed some form of comfort.

Her answer came in the form of a tall man, silver hair braided loosely down his back and amber eyes peering between her and the remaining mess of her living room. He stopped, puzzled, and asked, "Was all of this necessary?"

He addressed the mess, which she laughed. It lacked humor, it came out bitter. "Trust me, this is child's play unlike last time." She pointed to the discoloration of her carpet. Dark stains and burned marks made the white coloring clash. He grimaced. "When did that—"

Kagome stopped him with a head shake. "It's all in the past, like him."

He didn't believe her, but knew when to leave matters of the heart alone. "Do you want to talk?"

"If you mean sex," She looked at him for the first time. Her eyes were wet, but nothing fell. Nothing ever did for her. "I'm game."

Sesshomaru nodded, leading the way to her bedroom.

* * *

It felt different with him, the sex not the feeling attached. He was passionate, yet dominate. He took her without mercy, yet into her ear whispered sweet nothings and every things. He didn't hold anything back. It was always mind blowing.

"You're quiet."

She moaned softly, glancing at him through half lidded eyes. "You just fucked me proper. Do you expect me to actually have the strength to hold a conversation?" She mumbled tiredly into her folded arm.

"Apparently not so tired to tell me that." He chuckled low, chest rumbling. Kagome rolled her eyes hiding her smile.

"What do you want me to say?" She honestly asked. "We were together, loved each other, and suddenly one day didn't. It's how most relationships go."

Sesshomaru thought differently. "There is happiness, and ever lasting love."

She snorted. "Didn't know the stoic prince was secretly a romantic." Her tone was mocking, but playful.

"I'm not romantic, try realistic."

Kagome lifted her head, propping it on open palm. She looked down at him, smirking. "Well since you are realistic, how about another go?"

He matched her smirk with one of his own. "Alright, I'm game."

She stifled her laugh. Yeah, it was different with him.

* * *

There were the littlest things she noticed with him. For example, the crescent moon tattooed on his neck. She traced it lightly as he slept. This was the first time she seen it, and couldn't help but wonder the symbolism behind it. She felt him stirring underneath her gentle ministration. Kagome paused, feeling bad for disturbing him.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, kissing his cheek when he turned to look at her.

Amber eyes stared, bleary. "What's wrong?" He asked groggily, trying to blink away the sleep.

She shook her head, smiling. He looked so adorable, but she didn't have it in her heart to tease him. "Nothing, I couldn't sleep and noticed your tattoo."

Sesshomaru yawned into his hand. "Oh, that?" He mumbled, his eyes drooping.

"Yes, that."

He grumbled something before wrapping his long arms around her. Drawing her in, and close he inhaled the sweet scent emitting from her hair. Vanilla, he moaned pleasantly. "It's not finish," He said into her hair. "I'm just waiting...for...the finishing...finishing—" A light snore met her ear, causing her to chuckle low.

Kagome sighed, and closed her eyes. She'll ask again in the morning.

* * *

He held out his hand for her to take. "Dance with me?"

Kagome laughed, looking around her small living room for the remote to her stereo. Sesshoumaru stopped her, shaking his head. "We'll make our own music."

"Alright, but don't get mad when we are on two different stations." She gave him her hand.

Around her living room he guided her in a simple waltz. He held her close, humming a soft tune along with their sway. She knew the song, and proved the vocals to his melody.

"But tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart? Oh, tell me now where was my fault, in loving you with my whole heart..."

Sesshomaru slowed their dancing, bringing her around for a full spin. He twirled her out, catching her return, slowly bending her back into a low dip. They stared at each other, he broke the silence.

"Is it my fault, Kagome?"

"No. These things just happen."

"Good," He mumbled, leaning closer. "I won't feel bad doing this in front of him."

She opened her mouth to inquire about his statement, but was silenced by his soft lips. She closed her eyes.

Inuyasha slammed the door.

* * *

When someone asked how they met, Kagome simply replied:

"The bookstore."

Sango looked at her confused. "I thought you and Inuyasha met at school."

She nodded, stirring the spoon slowly in her coffee. "We did, but it was at the bookstore on campus."

"Tell me about it?"

"There's nothing to really tell." Kagome honestly reply.

Sango snorted, picking off the seeds from her bagel. "Of course there is something to tell. You dated the guy for five years, there was something about him that you loved."

Kagome sighed, placing the spoon on her cup saucer. "Plenty of things about him I loved, but there were things I hated too."

"Such as?"

Kagome looked over the rim of her cup with narrowed eyes, frowning. "Kikyo." She said, sipping her coffee after.

"Oh," Sango murmured, changing the topic quickly. "Well, tell me how you meet his brother, Sesshomaru?"

"Oh, the same way...bookstore." _Restroom_, Kagome muttered the last part in her mind, smirking at the disappointing gaze of her best friend.

* * *

He came back, determine not to leave despite the additional presence in the room. He pulled Kagome to the side.

He took a deep breath. "I love you, Kagome."

She stood beside him, uncomfortable. "Inuyasha..."

He stopped her from continuing. "Please, hear me out."

"I'm listening." To which she turned to his brother, smiling kindly. "Do you mind giving us some privacy?"

Sesshoumaru nodded, and left the small space. He didn't go far, the kitchen stood next to the living room. He would listen and wait.

Kagome shook her head, widening her smile. Inuyasha noticed, and frowned. "What makes him better?"

"What are you talking about?" Her smile dropped, and turned toward him; clearly not looking forward to this conversation start.

"Do I need to spell it out?"

"Oh, how mature of you!"

"Why him?"

"Why not?"

The silly shouting game commenced. Back and forth, back and forth, Kagome lost track. However, Inuyasha lost patience. Her world exploded in a flash of vertigo. Pain exploded everywhere. Her vision swam, she watched him leave.

Again, he slammed the door behind. She just laid there, not moving.

"Kagome, what did he—" A gentle hand brushed against the swell of her cheek.

She shook her head, or hoped that she did. "He'll be back. He'll always be back."

* * *

She preferred solitude to deal with her pain. Sesshomaru disagreed. He held her tightly against him, breathing in her scent. Lavender and tears, how many times have she smelt like that.

Kagome sighed, moving the ice lower on her face. Her lip hurt, but she knew he would want to talk. He always wanted to talk after episodes like this. "It wasn't always bad." She broke the silence with a soft voice. "We had some good times, your brother and I."

Sesshomaru nodded, understanding the desire for secrecy and limitation. He tilted his head back staring at the strange pattern on the ceiling. "What happened? What changed?"

Her shoulders shrugged. "Many things happened, many things eventually lead to change."

"Did you love him?"

"Once...along time ago."

He buried his face into her neck, nuzzling. "And now?"

"I fell in love with someone else." She mumbled lowly, convincingly. But for who?

* * *

Something about his curious nature always intrigued her. He denied this, of course.

"Why me?" His drawl drew her attention.

"If I don't answer your question are you going to hit me like your brother?" Kagome quirked a brow, peering at the tall man from behind her novel. "I'm kidding." She added after his long silence to her first statement.

Sesshomaru's gaze narrowed. He didn't find her joke humorous. "No, you know I wouldn't."

She breathed out, sliding off her reading glasses. "Fine, I shall indulge in this mental mind game with you." She rested everything on her lap, patting the vacant seat beside her.

He sat and waited. She inhaled, shifting to face him fully. "You asked me an interesting question for which I have an interesting answer."

He nodded for her to continue. "It has always been you, honestly since the first time we fucked in the restroom."

"Kagome..." He growled, and she laughed.

Shaking her head, she sighed happily. "I'm joking, Sesshomaru." She grasped his hand in hers, interlocking their fingers. She looked down at them, feeling content. "No, I knew it was you the moment you saw my tears and held me in your arms. You told me that everything was going to be alright. You opened yourself to me, shared things most would keep private. And I wanted to be with you because of the kindness you showed me."

"Well, you have me, Kagome."

She smiled lovingly at him, squeezing his hand. "I know."

* * *

Every passing day, she felt something change between them. It warmed her heart.

His tattoo became the object of her attention again; fingers tracing the crescent curve and around again. Beside it, she noticed its polar opposite, and smiled. "When did you have it finish?"

Sesshomaru hummed for a moment, thinking, replying when he had the answer. "May, I believe."

"Three months ago and you forgot to tell me?"

"I didn't think it was important, sorry."

"It is, I wanted to know what it meant since I first laid eyes on it."

"I'm sorry, forgive me?" He pouted cutely, and she laughed.

"Yes, you are forgiven." She kissed his cheek, sighing happily. "Sesshomaru, why did you choose this type of tattoo?"

"Well, it's symbolic to my life and struggles, I guess." He trailed off, reminiscing about a few experiences in his life. "There were good times, and bad, happy moments, and sad. I think using the moon and the sun to reflect both, at the time was a good idea. Why, does it look gay or something?"

Kagome snorted, shaking her head. "Ask you a question and you get all defensive about your sexuality." She wrapped her arms around his neck, looking into his eyes. "No, Sesshomaru, I simply think it's beautiful that you see those two as an extension of your life."

"Yeah...do you want to know the best part?"

"What?"

"In the center of the two is a star, a beautiful green star that holds them together. If it wasn't for her, they couldn't coexist."

Her heart skipped a beat. "Her? The star has a name? What is it?"

He cupped her cheek, grinning. "Kagome."

* * *

He returned, but not alone. She stared at the other woman beside him.

"Kagome."

"Kikyo."

Inuyasha looked between them, and sighed. "I didn't come here to fight this time."

She folded her arms, standing her guard. "Why are you here?"

"To tell you that I'm pregnant." Kikyo replied in replace of Inuyasha.

"Pregnant?" She mouthed, lowering her gaze to the woman's stomach. "How far along?" Kagome didn't need to know, the roundness of the stomach told her.

Kikyo rubbed clockwise, tauntingly. "Four months, we just came back seeing the ultrasound."

"Oh." Kagome muttered, lifting her eyes to Inuyasha. He stood there, fidgeting. Guilt written all over his face. However, she forced a smile against the hurt. She wouldn't let this get to her. She couldn't. "Congratulations, I'm sure you will make a great father."

He muttered "thanks", but Kikyo continued, clearly not finish reciting her news. "We are getting married as well, and I want you to come to my wedding."

Kagome looked between them this time, and exploded into a fit of laughter. She shook her head, stepping closer to the door. "Oh yes, that's just rich, Kikyo! First, you have the audacity to take Inuyasha from me, next, you continue to become a constant pain in my life. Now, you appear before me knocked the fuck up and telling me about some marriage proposal." She stood in front of the door, sapphire orbs burning with hate and anger. Her lashes were wet with tears. "You know what you and Inuyasha can do...fuck off!"

The door slammed in their face.

Kagome dropped on her knees, and cried. She let it get to her. He won. Damn.

* * *

He knew she needed him before she did. He wanted to make her forget. Kagome wouldn't. She couldn't.

The tables had turned, she found herself unable to keep silent. She called to him, and his grunted. She turned onto her side, looking at his sleeping face. "Why does it always have to hurt?"

Amber eyes twitched awake, peering at her groggily. "Somewhere in your heart you still love him."

"I don't want to love him anymore." She said in a tiny voice.

"Then don't." He mumbled tiredly.

"It's easier said than done, Sesshomaru. How can I move on when he keeps appearing in every aspect of my life?" She shouted, angry, hurt, and confused by all that has happened. All she wanted was for him to comfort her, guide her through this emotional roller coaster. No, instead he went a different route, condescending.

"What do you want me to say, Kagome? This is something you have to get through, and personally I'm not helping at all." His tone was harsh, but true. By her glare, it hit, and it hit hard.

Kagome turned away from him, hitting her pillow angrily. She was angry, seething. Why couldn't he understand? She thought he loved her? "Fuck off, Sesshomaru." She muttered into the pillow and her tears. "Just fuck off."

He sighed, and rolled over onto his side. Too tired to deal with this, he went back to sleep. In his ear, he listened to her muffle cries.

So much for making her forget.

* * *

At times, he was never a person prone to quick anger or violence. Everything in life could be solved without the need to physically lash out. However, today, he made an acception.

Inuyasha's reaction time was slower than in his youth. The blow reached its destination flawlessly. He bit back a scream as he clenched his eye. He glared at his brother. Sesshomaru glared back.

"What the hell is your problem?" He moaned out in pain feeling his eye throbbing beneath his fingers.

Sesshomaru punched him again, words at this point useless. Inuyasha fell to the ground clenching his stomach. He kicked him next, enjoying the sweet, sickening sound of broken bones. In a flurry of smooth motion, he continued beating Inuyasha effortlessly. Rage blinded him. He never felt like this.

He drew his arm back, ready to deliver the final blow, but something stopped him. A hand, small with slender fingers enclosed his fist. Beside him, a voice soft like the flesh that connected spoke. "Enough, Sesshomaru. Please, it's enough." She pleaded sadly, letting go of his hand once she knew it was safe.

Sesshomaru blinked slowly, nodding. He dropped his brother, letting the unconscious body hit the ground in a thud. He looked at his hands, blood shattered in different spots. He frowned.

An arm wrapped around his waist, holding him. "What happened, Sesshomaru?"

Amber eyes dragged over to her. "You," He said in a low voice. "You were the reason this happened, Kagome."

She turned away to look at Inuyasha. Kikyo suddenly arrived, cradling his head in her lap as she called for help. Kagome felt nothing in her heart as she looked at sight scene before her. She wrapped her other arm around him, embracing him. "We should go, there's a crowd drawing in."

Sesshomaru didn't argue, and allowed Kagome to lead them away.

* * *

With gentle ministration, she wiped away the blood from his fingers. She didn't speak, silence was better.

Sesshomaru agreed, unable to look at her. He stared out the window, into the night. Tonight, the moon was crescent and the stars few.

She broke the silence. "What made you do something like that?" Kagome voice was small, and upset. "You hurt him really bad, Sesshomaru. If I didn't stop you, he would have been dead."

"Would it have been such a bad idea?"

She stopped, peering up at him with wide eyes. "Sesshomaru!"

He looked at her. "Kagome."

"How could you suggest such a thing? He's your brother!"

He countered. "So you're telling me that it was alright for him to put you through hell? You let him hit you, cheat on you, treat you like dirt, but you're alright with it?" He snorted, disgusted. "You need to have your head exam."

"So do you, apparently! What the hell is wrong with you?" She threw the towel on the floor and stood.

He stood as well, looming over her short height with blazing eyes. "Apparently plenty is wrong with me if I thought for one moment you knew why I reacted the way I did!"

"How do you expect me to understand? You beat the living shit out of your brother, Sesshomaru!"

"I did it for you! I did it for you because you cannot seem to do it yourself. Tell me Kagome, do you still love that mangy mutt? Is he worth this defense?"

She almost said yes. "Sesshomaru..." She trailed off, feeling her heart tighten. Her eyes reflected the conflict that she felt within.

He snorted, gathering his jacket and keys. "Save it, Kagome. You claim to have moved on, but obviously you can't." He stormed to the door, pausing with his hand inches from the knob. "I love you Kagome. I would do anything for you, but I guess it's one-sided huh? Good luck with whatever you're trying to accomplish with my dead beat brother."

The door slammed behind her, it shook the pictures on the wall.

This was becoming repetitive. Kagome wept.

* * *

He was her world, her everything and it all ended before it could barely begin.

The tears couldn't stop flowing. Kagome knew she messed up.

"Why?" She cried into her pillow, curling into herself.

Blue eyes peered over to look at the key lying on her nightstand. He returned it yesterday. He told her that this was the end for them.

The end, Kagome didn't want it to be that way. However, what could she really do?

Burying her face into her pillow, a new wave of sobs wrecked her body.

She needed him.

She needed him, now.

* * *

The beer left a horrible taste in his mouth, but it was all he had to quench the hurt. She hurt him, he admitted. And he still loved her, he denied.

"Why don't you go talk to her?" Miroku muttered beside him. "You love her don't you?"

Sesshomaru grunted, tapping the bar for another. "What does love have to do with anything?" He slurred, slipping a five to the bartender. _  
_

Miroku shook his head, eying the row of beers bottles he accumulated within an hour. His friend was hurting, bad. "Sesshomaru, I think you should go talk to her. I know she hurt you, but she needs help."

"If she wants help, she should go ask my brother, I hear he's great at fixing her issues with a little force."

Miroku huffed quietly. "You have to understand, Sesshomaru. Kagome been with Inuyasha for five years. She trusted him with her mind, body, and soul and just like that he destroyed all three by cheating. You wasn't there to see her broken. You wasn't there to see her on the verge of killing herself. I've watched her fall apart for two months. It was until she met you, the spark returned. She started to smile again, laugh again, and it was all because of you. Please, don't do this to her."

"I'm not doing anything to her, Miroku. She's doing this to herself." He said, stubbornly. Glancing at his friend, he sighed. "I'm not going to be rebound for her. If she truly claims to love me, she will have to prove it to me." He slid off the stool, slapping down a bill. "If you think I'm being harsh, I don't care. I'm not someone's emotional punching bag. I'm not going through that again."

* * *

_Can you lie next to her_

_And give her your heart, your heart_

_As well as your body_

_And can you lie next to her_

_And confess your love, your love_

_As well as your folly_

_And can you kneel before the king_

_And say I'm clean, I'm clean..._

Kagome stood in the center of her living room, a box beside her feet. One by one, she took down the memories, the moments, anything that reminded her of Inuyasha. Every picture of them, every CD of their favorite songs, anything that reminded of her of a love long ago she stored it away in the box.

She continued to do this for every room. His clothes, his toys, all went into the box. She worked diligently for several hours until the moon stood in the sky, and the stars surrounded her home. Sitting on the floor, she exhaled loudly wiping away the sweat from her brow.

She looked around once again, a sense of satisfaction filled her. Her walls were bare, her closet almost empty, the floor was clean, nothing of him lingered.

This brought a smile to her face, the first in a month.

* * *

_A white blank page and a swelling rage, rage_

_You did not think when you sent me to the brink, to the brink_

_You desired my attention but denied my affections, my affections..._

It felt strange watching the first change of the season, alone. Sesshomaru walked through the park, taking in the orange and red leaves of fall. He found comfort among them, but it wasn't enough to sway his lingering feelings.

He missed Kagome.

For the first month since their break up, it had been easy. The second brought back memories and moments, and the third he couldn't bare it any more. It drove him mad!

Sighing, he turned around and walked the way he came.

He had to make things right.

* * *

She wanted to say something, anything to make the situation less awkward. He wasn't fairing any better, the silence intense, and uncomfortable.

A minute ticked by.

Kagome sighed.

Sesshomaru glanced at her.

"I still love you, Kagome." Was all he said.

She closed her eyes, smiling weakly. "Thank you, Sesshomaru. Thank you."

Into his waiting arms, she stepped forward, wrapping her arms tightly around his waist. He held her, and sighed into her hair.

It was a start.

* * *

_Lead me to the truth and I will follow you with my whole life_

_Oh, lead me to the truth and I will follow with you my whole life..._

They laid side by side, his arms wrapped around her tightly, fingers laced. Kagome stared into the darkness of her room, humming lightly.

"I love you, Sesshomaru and I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it." She mumbled softly, blinking away the tears.

He kissed her neck, exhaling lightly. "I'm sorry also. I didn't mean to hurt you."

She chuckled lowly, shaking her head. "No, you didn't hurt me. I hurt you. I should have realized that Inuyasha wasn't worth defending and I did. I'm sorry for putting you through all of this. It took me awhile to realize that as well after I removed everything that reminded me of him."

"So does this mean that you are willing to move on?"

"Yes, it does and I want a clean start." She turned in his arms, facing him. Blue eyes stared into amber ones, smiling. "Hello, my name is Kagome."

He grinned, resting his forehead against hers. "My name is Sesshomaru."

"Nice to meet you, Sesshomaru."

"You too, Kagome."

_Fin_

* * *

**_A/N: Well that's it! Credit goes to Mumford and Sons as well for the inspiring song "White Blank Page" that helped create this story. I hope you like it and expect other Inuyasha or anime one-shots in the future! _**

**_Thanks for reading! _**

**_SGGR_**


End file.
